Now here’s one buzzword you’d be forgiven for not having heard before. But you will soon. It called Augmented Reality.

As the big-name digital agency Internet strategists try to kickstart their depleted client account coffers, this is what they’ll be trying to sell them. But the idea is bad, very bad.

It sounds OK, its about trying to create an on-line experience to emulate shopping for real. Sort of being there, but not being there, but really more a case of enjoying it, but not really.

These guys are smart, but I sometimes wonder what virtual planet they’re on.

They really, really, need to get out more

David Benady of The normally accurate and authoritative marketing magazine Revolution devoted an entire special feature to this development, proclaiming it the Retail Revolution. But on this occasion, I’m afraid I have to disagree.

The concept is to visualise arrays of 3D displays of goods that you can “experience” by overlaying things like clothes over an avatar of yourself to see what they’d look like on you. You’re then supposed to order them online in the normal, Internet way.

But they clearly don’t shop themselves, or I suspect don’t have girlfriends/boyfriends, wives/husbands they shop with. Because they would know this won’t replace the real thing. It doesn’t even come close.

Wait a second, I’m a web strategist. Isn’t this heresy?

I know, I know, its all meant to be the future, so I should embrace it. But guys, it won’t work. This won’t because we’ve already tried it with live concerts, festivals and sports events.

Watch the V or Reading music festivals on TV. Panning cameras and zooming audience shots try to make you feel you’re there. You can almost feel the mud seeping into your shoes and smell that nasty thing the cameraman just stood on. But you just aren’t there.

Watch Sky’s sports coverage, marvel at that close-to-the-player action, here them shout. But who would suggest in a million years its as exhilarating an experience as being there?

Shopping’s about feeling good, touching and smelling new things

Now I accept there are many occasions when we’re happy to buy items from the Internet. After all, I buy lots of things that way. To get the best price, its the way to go.

But if my partner or I want something special, something personal, you just can’t beat the exhilarating feeling of trying it on, touching it and bringing it home.

For the majority, luxury or clothes shopping can be an almost out-of-body experience, something very personal. But taking that real, sensual experience and creating a virtual copy isn’t going to work. Not even if we get scratch and sniff web pages.

The Internet brings us many things. But you can’t augment what’s almost perfect already. And any quality retailer that tries would be committing suicide, virtually.