No one likes a overflowing inbox of mail. It’s depressing at the best of times. But imagine being afraid to even open up your mail, or look at a text message on your phone.

Well, that’s how nearly a third of kids have felt at some time. That’s the scale of cyber-bullying or email harassment today. It’s the new voodoo.

The problem isn’t just one for our kids, it’s prevalent in the workplace as well, with many suffering anxiety, depression and health problems as a result. The Internet has provided a new way of causing pain. And it’s got to stop.

The effects of cyber harassment

Cyber-bullying or harassment may seem a pretty innocuous form of bullying. After all no one gets physically hurt do they?

But the reality is that it causes great psychological distress to many people. It all starts from the first message. It starts a process where you try to understand the meaning and read many interpretations into the message.

We all do it with a normal business email. Did they mean that, are they joking, are they angry, now imagine a threat or insulting mail from an unknown person. Can they see you opening it, are they watching you now?

Its deeply damaging to many people and if the mails or texts continue, it becomes a real problem very quickly. It starts to pervade your life, just like voodoo did in the past.

The profile of an cyber bully

73% of people reporting cyber harassment, nearly a two-thirds, know their attacker. The attacker wants their victim to feel dominated and distressed by them and to do that, they usually identify themselves in some way. In this respect, they’re behaving like a conventional bully.

Many cyber-bullies have emotional problems themselves, but this in no way excuses the behaviour. It’s ironic that given that the attacker is known, how many get away with their actions. Many attacks begin as a result of some sort of relationship with the victim, be it emotional or some form of jealousy.

Many email harassment cases are as a result of failed relationships and are used as a form of retribution for a break-up. Some are business-orientated, a colleague who got a promotion the attacker thought undeserved, or someone felt treated unfairly. Some may be drink-orientated. Many may seem incredibly trivial to an observer.

Dealing with the problem

The key here is to deal with it, don’t ignore it in the hope that the attacker will just stop and go away. Some have been known to keep it up for over five years and have often escalated into violence and even tragedy.

Email harassment

It’s essential to maintain the record of messages as without these, legal action is almost impossible. In the case of emails, don’t just block the messages, apply a filter to store them safely. Print out each one and file them. You will need these later on.

See a reputable security consultant who can analyse the email headers (a mix of code and address data that describes the sender’s origin) and attach that as a paper record to the email itself. This establishes a pattern and a trail leading back to the attacker.

SMS-based harassment

SMS messages are more transient in nature and a bit more difficult to manage. However, there are a few things worth doing. Firstly, get someone responsible to witness the text message. Show them the message, note the time and maintain the details in a diary. The UK charity ChildLine can supply a special bullying diary for this.

A good idea is to use an SMS to email gateway. This allows you to forward an SMS message to a special phone number which then produces an email. This allows you to keep a record of the message. AQL offers such a service. This should be witnessed first as an SMS message to retain the evidence.

Legal recourse

The police are overstretched and ill-equipped to investigate cyber-harassment cases. It’s essential that before you contact them to take action, you build up the evidence as I’ve described. That gives them a chance to understand the threat and you the probability of a satisfactory outcome.

In the UK, we have a number of laws which cover harassment. these are both civil and police actions. In the US, there are federal laws which deal with this.

The police action most used is the “Harassment of Another” law. This is the same law used for celebrity stalkers. This involves a warning being served and then if the attacks continue, the attacker is arrested and charged.

Civil actions involve a solicitor who takes action privately. This can be useful if you have legal cover on your household or some other insurance policy.

However, police or federal actions carry more weight. There’s nothing like a police officer turning up on your doorstep to focus the mind!

Identifying an attack is happening

Sometimes, particularly in the case of children, they will be embarrassed or even ashamed to admit they are being bullied. Here you need to look out for the signs of this happening.

Changes of behaviour, depression for no reason, abnormal fear responses, bursting into tears, anything out of the ordinary is worth sitting down with the child or a friend of theirs to ask if anything is wrong. Getting them to talk about it is essential as then they’ll not be trapped by feelings of despair.

Is the communications industry doing enough?

The answer here is no I’m afraid. Many ISP’s processes are poorly defined and users reporting incidents are left feeling the ISP’s have little interest in dealing with the problem.

Internet mail is a highly competitive, commodity service and without legislation to force companies to face up to their responsibilities, they won’t spend money on what they see as a non-profitable action.

A happy conclusion

For all the trauma this can cause, dealing with the problem in a controlled and managed way invariably brings a satisfactory result. But be prepared for a lengthy process. As with most things in life, confronting the problem is the first step. Getting professional help the next. Let’s stop this now.